How do I get rid of telemarketers?

Telemarketers are the worst.
Luckily, I do have vast experience dealing with them:

1. My mom is to thank for the first one.  I grew up in the dark ages before cell phones and caller ID had hit mainstream America, so the phone ringing actually gave us some level of eager anticipation at whom might be on the other end.  5% of the time it was a prisoner calling collect (random dialing, we're not a family of criminals).  About 10% of the time, it was my dad.  80% of the time it was a telemarketer.  My mother, rearing four daughters in the aforementioned Dark Ages, killed two birds with one stone by putting my toddler sister on the line... Bam - occupied, happy toddler and a mother who doesn't have to talk to someone in India while stretching the phone cord (yes, corded) across the kitchen while she tends to her Gorton's fish sticks.

2. My go-to is actually getting really quiet when they ask to speak to whomever they are asking for and then very somberly explain that the person in question recently passed away.  They can't try to sell the next available 18+ after a comment like that AND they're probably going to remove you from their list.

3. This option is tricky and does require a bit of techno-skillz.  When the persons asks for the adult 18+, say "just one moment" and immediately 3-way conference in one of your friends/frenemies.  Your "friend" says hello and then the telemarketer goes full steam ahead and you sit silent.  Trust me, good times.

4. As the oldest of four children, I was slow to mature, listened to Raffi well into Junior High, and became a true master of hideously annoying childhood games.  The copy cat game can be a huge hit with telemarketers.  Just copy absolutely everything he or she says to you.  Maybe throw in a "That's what she said" or "I know you are but what am I" every once in a while.

5. The next is from a Bloggess comment -
When a telemarketer called to talk to me about some new phone service, I told him I didn’t actually own a phone. He went quiet for a minute and then I gently told him that because I didn’t own a phone, I couldn’t really be having this conversation right now. And then I hung up.

To recap:
1. Put youngest available child on the phone
2. Fake a death
3. 3 Way
4. Return to Kindergarten
5. Jedi mind tricks